One of the reasons why changes that dismantle old habits can sometimes feel too challenging, is because it often takes us out of our comfort zone causing us to feel extreme discomfort. Biologically speaking, our brains and nervous systems are not designed to deal with such types of stress. 

We have something called the sympathetic nervous system, it’s the body’s rapid involuntary response to what we view as threats or stressful situations. It sends a flash flood of hormones to boost our body’s alertness causing pupils to dilate, heart rate to accelerate, blood pressure to rise and sends blood to the muscles. This is the body’s natural survival response, which translates to a feeling of immense fear in the body causing us to go into ‘fight or flight’ mode in order to protect ourselves from threats. 

While it is clear that such a response would be critical for survival for our ancestors, who lived in a world full of real physical threats. The dangers and stresses we experience in the modern world are more psychological in nature. They are commonly related to work, school, finances, relationship problems, big life changes or being too busy. In other words, situations you can’t just fight or run from. This ‘fight or flight’ response is just not nearly as adaptive in today’s times. Yet, we’re wired to feel that same nerve wracking response, blocking and hindering us from making any real, meaningful change in our lives.  

How can we overcome this involuntary response?

Being aware of this involuntary response is the first step, awareness alone can help us better understand why we feel physical fear in our bodies, that lump in the throat, knot in the stomach, sweaty palms and shortness of breath. This fear response then triggers our brains to spiral out of control with negative thoughts. By simply identifying and understanding this biological response can help take away the power it has over us. 

The second step is to embrace and surrender to this response. After all, its intention is only here to help us. I find breathing exercises to be extremely helpful here, especially in those stressful, high-arousal moments. Conscious breathing can help calm the physical body, putting space between us, the situation and the involuntary response. This can also help with triggering of the brain from spiraling out of control. I also highly recommend a regular meditation practice. This habit will help you keep calm, positive, centered and connected to your inner peaceful being.

Is this involuntary response responsible for our negative thought patterns?

Whenever we are triggered by stress or fear, our sympathetic nervous system will quickly respond, causing us to feel it in our bodies first. Our hearts will start to pound, bodies will begin to sweat, we may even feel some lightheadedness. It’s definitely not a pleasant feeling and can feel very crippling at times. The good new is, this beyond our control, involuntary response will typically last for only about 90 seconds. However, after the 90 seconds, we are fully responsible for what happens next. We are one hundred percent responsible for the thoughts we chose to have for minutes, hours or days to come.

To overcome this response, we have to realize it does not control us, we always have the power to choose what to do after the response. Understanding that fear, doubt and spiraling of negative thoughts are not our only options. We are so much more powerful and expansive than that. We have the ability to change our thought patterns to positive and empowering thoughts. In fact, whenever I feel fear in my body like that, I know it’s time to cue the positive mantras and affirmations.

In short..

We must learn to understand that change may feel uncomfortable, stressful and even scarier than dealing with prolonged stress from situations we’re so tired of. However, there’s nothing better than facing what scares the shit out of us or the thing that’s blocking us from living our best life. It can only bring us growth, learning opportunities and new possibilities. Isn’t that much better than dealing with the same patterns, hoping for a different result or being controlled by fear for the rest of our lives?

There you have it my courageous souls! Let’s conquer our fears, get out of our comfort zones and take the courage to make the meaningful change necessary to create the life we’ve always desired together. Plus, comfort zones are totally overrated as I’ve mentioned in my ‘What is the Subconscious Mind’ article, it’s only a form of fake security. 

Because remember, life truly will not begin until we are at the edge of our comfort zone.

The best way to describe a life coach is not someone who’s a guru or a teacher, but rather someone who is here to serve, support and empower others to do their best in order to uncover knowledge they already have deep within. A Conscious Life Coach honors each person’s story as unique masterpieces, therefore understands there’s no magic pill or one size fits all method. She embraces each individual’s experience with compassion, love and zero judgement. Her job is to help identify blockages, limiting patterns, spark growth, healing and meaningful change from deep within their soul.

Why would I need a Conscious Life Coach?

We live in a world of materialism where money, power and status have great importance. Ever since we were young, we’ve been taught to have a “getting mindset”. This mindset of getting and acquiring, believing the more we have, the happier we are. And that joy, love and success is something that is externally achieved and often can be measured by comparing ourselves to others. This mindset then becomes a programming, an internal software that’s constantly running in our subconscious, influencing our minds as well as actions on a daily basis. 

A Conscious Life Coach taps into this consciousness to evoke awareness and change. It’s not some mystical or religious belief, it’s simply believing we are much greater, much more expansive than a herd mentality. We are more powerful than a programming that’s tricking us to live unfulfilling lives. By bringing conscious awareness to these so-called limiting beliefs, we will begin to truly understand the purpose of life, take back our power of free will and learn to let go of what no longer serves us.

What causes limiting beliefs or programmings?

There are many types of limiting beliefs and programmings. It all starts when we are just little children, it can be due to our upbringing, society’s views and standards, or academic expectations. In some cases, it’s as simple as taking on people’s opinions or internalizing particular events that end up shaping and determining our perception of reality.

For example, perhaps you were told or often treated by a family member, peer or group that you were not competent, smart or pretty enough. You then internalize this, developing a belief that you are less than, not good enough. This limiting programming slowly becomes a part of your personality, influencing you on a daily basis, both consciously and subconsciously. It might not seem like a big deal, but it runs much deeper than we are aware of.

Do you find yourself stuck in a job you don’t find joy in? Staying in a relationship that’s no longer making you happy? A pattern of constantly proving yourself to others? Seeking love and validation externally but never truly feeling happy or enough on the inside? All of this is because of a past belief or programming deep in the subconscious that’s still influencing you till this day. We never stop to ask ourselves the question if these beliefs are really true? Or are they just a result of another’s fear or limiting mindset being passed on to me? By simply bringing awareness to these patterns, is the first step to breaking them for good. 

How can a Conscious Life Coach help?

A conscious life coach is here to empower you to break free from the chains of these past, and help you expose what’s truly blocking you. I personally believe the hardships we are facing or have faced are specifically designed to propel each and every one of us forward in becoming the highest version of ourselves. You were meant to live this path, you just have to be willing to look deep within to find out why.

Sometimes it’s hard for us to see the big picture especially when we get caught up, off track, making everything seem impossible. A Conscious Life Coach helps you see that it’s all possible. She provides you with unconditional love, guidance and support throughout your courageous journey. Helps you remember hardships and patterns are not here to define you, but rather to help you become who you truly are. To ultimately help you become the most authentic version of you, full of love, light and joy who’s been there all along, waiting to be uncovered. 

We all have the power to create the life we’ve always desired, a Conscious Life Coach works together with you to help you do just that.

What is the subconsicous mind?

The subconscious mind is responsible for generating over 90% of our thoughts, feelings, beliefs and behaviors, yet it often gets overlooked. It’s an operating system that has been running since we were in the womb. Its main functions is to collect, permanently store and retrieve data of everything that’s ever happened to us like one-big-giant memory bank. In fact, it’s the only system we run on until the age of 6. It helps us absorb everything we see and hear like a sponge, permanently shaping our young minds. Believe or not, it’s only between age 6 – 8 that we develop the analytical mind, aka the conscious mind that’s responsible for logic, reasoning, will power and capability to make our own decisions.

In addition to being a memory bank, our subconscious mind obeys every command from our conscious mind like a humble servant without question. It works tirelessly 24/7 to form patterns consistent with our behaviors from repeated thoughts, like an internal algorithm. Think of your conscious mind as the ‘gardener’ planting seeds, and your subconscious mind as the ‘garden’ in which the seeds grow. What your subconscious mind grows, weeds or flowers, highly depends on the mental contribution from your conscious mind. However, the overall state of the subconscious garden can also influence what kind of seeds the conscious gardener will continue to plant.

How does it influence our daily lives?

Our subconscious mind is truly a remarkable system and can work highly in our favor when we know its inner functions. However, it can also easily take over our lives if left on auto-pilot. Because our subconscious mind is always practicing homeostasis, it keeps us thinking and acting in a manner consistent with what we’ve done in the past to maintain a stable, constant internal environment. It memorizes all of our habits and comfort zones, and works really hard to keep us in it, even if it no longer serves us in our personal growth. That’s because the subconscious mind cannot think for itself or reason independently, it’s merely an internal software. 

So, imagine yourself as a vulnerable child, where a particular situation caused you to feel immense disappointment and emotional pain. As a coping mechanism, you learned to avoid such situations in order to feel safe. Overtime, this becomes an established pattern of behavior, your programming. It starts to manifest in areas of your life where you’re unable to trust, takes risks, open up to others or be emotionally available. You even avoid things, people and situations altogether that has this ‘potential’ possibility of the past. Therefore, you stay in your comfort zone where it may feel safe, but in actuality it’s your subconscious programming that’s limiting and blocking you from living your best life. 

Is it possible to overcome our subconcious programming?

How we emotionally view and react to any given situation comes from years and years of subconscious programming. Majority of them are false and no longer valid because they were formed in a state when we were vulnerable children. So in order to make any meaningful change in our lives we must recognize these subconscious patterns, and start to get comfortable with the uncomfortable. It’s the only way we’ll ever break the pattern! We must recognize whenever we want to do anything new or different, our subconscious mind will make us feel emotionally and physically uncomfortable because it goes against our established patterns of behavior.

However, we are much greater than our subconscious programming, greater than any emotional and physical subconscious response. Forming new habits with higher awareness and competence is the beauty of being an empowered adult, no matter how uncomfortable it might be. We are no longer that vulnerable, defenseless child. We have the power to tap into our subconscious to become aware of our old existing programmings, form better habits, new comfort zones and let go of what no longer serves us so we can finally be the highest version of ourselves.